Living La Vida Laid-off

Getting laid off is no fun. It’s frustrating. It’s demoralizing. It’s life-changing for some. Losing a home is tough. Giving up luxuries like vacations and exclusive schools is tougher. But the toughest thing about living “La Vida Laid-Off” is just that…living it. Trying to be normal, trying to engage in topical conversation or to do the things you regularly did pre-layoff can be excruciating, especially when you are the first or only one among your friends or associates to be laid off.

Lately, in my own circle of friends, I’ve noticed a palpable strain on dinner conversation whenever the subject of work comes up–a popular and regular topic at our table. Folks who were once eager to talk about their feats of sales and strategy–their big deals and corporate coups–now squirm and drink too much, beg off early and get flustered when asked the benign question “How’s work?” or “What are you doing now?”.

My heart goes out to my friends and others in the same situation, so I came up with a coping guide to help them deal with life post-layoff.

COPING WITH LA VIDA LAID-OFF

Surround yourself with “real” friends - You should know the difference, but if not, real friends are the ones you don’t hide from when you’re broke. Your real friends will buy you dinner and try to get you hired at their companies.

Don’t hide being laid off - Unless you usually jog at 10am or wander the mall in the middle of the day, your conspicuously free time will betray you. You may as well get it off your chest.

Laugh to keep from crying. Cry if you want to. - When I was laid off I re-branded myself a “Lady of Leisure”. My friends complained about working too hard. I kidded about how hard it was to get up before the Young & The Restless came on. It took the weirdness out of the air.

Prepare a pitch - You don’t want to monopolize a get-together with depressing talk of layoffs, so prepare a brief pitch that leaves out the layoff part and skips to the “I’m looking for a new gig in (field/job)”. Tell them what you want and what you’re good at. You’d be surprised about how little your friends may know about what you do or can do professionally.

Entertain the possibilities - Getting canned sucks, but it does free you up to try something new. Focus on your skills, not your work history. That way, you’ll be able to see opportunities more clearly and seize them.

Stay sharp! - Searching for jobs can seem like a full-time job, but it’s not. There’s the searching, the applying, and, with any luck, the interviews. Whew! That’ll burn through about 16 of 168 hours in any week! The rest is yours to fill with professional and personal development activities. Don’t worry if you can’t afford to get an MBA or attend executive education classes; you can read business books, take continuing education, community college or open university classes, volunteer, take on an internship or teach yourself a new skill.

Be patient. This too shall pass. - I don’t know when or how, but the economy will improve, as will your business and career prospects. Believe it.